This week I intended to write about beginnings because that's where I feel like I'm at. Right back at the beginning. Editing a prologue and writing chapter one it's like the last six years of half-assing this project never happened. I'm starting from scratch all over again. Standing at the beginning of a long and possibly treacherous journey it's easy to get discouraged. So, instead I'm going to talk about two more important lessons I learned this past week.
The first thing I learned this last week is this; I’m not that good of a writer, yet.
When my writing buddy handed me the first half to her first chapter during our weekly meeting I was blown away. Her protagonist was so eloquently crafted and her world building so beautiful that I felt like I was meandering down the street right along with her character. I was a little intimidated by the fact that her pages were so good and, I'm ashamed to admit, I had a moment where I questioned whether or not I am capable of writing at all.
In spite of this, I rallied. This is my writing partner and she’s amazing, which means that she will give me amazing advice that can only help me in this process. Not only that, but it lit a fire in me to do better, to be better, and work harder until I met that exceptionally high bar that she set right out the gate. This I will do because humans have this great ability to grow. So we had a wonderful discussion that night and I left feeling motivated and optimistic.
Fast forward three days, my husband is taking me out to dinner and on the car ride we start discussing my book. I've been feeling recently that he isn't 100% supportive of my endeavor and I question, why? If anyone should support and encourage my efforts it should be him. He tells me that he does support me but is afraid that I'll put so much time and work into this project only to be rejected. He doesn't want to see me broken and disappointed if this goes no where. How do you rally from that? When the person who is closest to you, instead of believing in you, is terrified that you'll be crushed by failure? So the second lesson I learned was this; failure is a real thing, but so what?
There are two choices here folks, you can simply give up because you are afraid of rejection. Or you can try and see what happens with the understanding that rejection may be what's waiting for you at the end of all this. I've never been much for giving up. I believe that the potential of success is worth the risk of potential failure. I've already taken risks in my life and though there have been trials I've come out pretty okay. Playing it safe has never been that appealing. To quote Henry David Thoreau:
"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined"
What is life without dreams and ambitions? What is the point of living out these cookie cutter lives if we are not also exploring, learning, and growing? Why live a stagnant life when you can be creating and experiencing new things? I refuse to plateau before my 30th birthday. There is so much more to life than being afraid of rejection and disappointment. How will you ever accomplish anything by doing nothing? You wont.
So go out and write that book that's been sitting in your computer for six years. Start that business that you've been dreaming about. Finish that thesis that you've been putting off (Emese) and go live your life. I will not be stagnant, I will not lie down, and I will finish this damn novel come hail or high water. There will always be people better than you, learn from them. There will always be people who love you so much they fear failure for you, encourage them. Show them you can. Show them you will not give up or be discouraged and they will follow your lead.
I have accomplished more in the last few weeks than I have in the last year and that is something to hang my hat on. Take the small accomplishments and build on them.
In five months time I will have a full comprehensive manuscript because I have decided that it will be so. Commit to your project and follow through. Make that decision because no one can make it for you. I read an article the other day that talked about the fact that we dictate our own lives. If you believe your life sucks, it probably does. If you doubt yourself and don't believe that you can accomplish your goal, than you wont. We make our own way, no one makes it for you.
Next week’s goals: Editing chapter one and writing chapter two.
Check out my read of the week entry to read my thoughts on the final installment of A. G. Howards Splintered series Ensnared! Till next time, here’s an inspirational quote to keep you going.
"What is the point of being alive if you do not at least try to do something remarkable?" - John Green